Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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