he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
