well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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