I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize