The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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