i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
