I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
