Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
