The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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