I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
