Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
