this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
