I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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