I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
