I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
