if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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