Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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