i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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