Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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