Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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