I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
