He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
