If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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