I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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