I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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