Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize