i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
are you so shy because you have an std?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
