butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
