He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
