Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
