yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
