What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
FUCK WHALES
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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