I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
