Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
