We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
