I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My life is pants optional.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
