i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
