When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
