I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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