I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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