just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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