I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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