I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There are leaves in my underwear?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
