I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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