Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
