if you like me you must not know who I am
I will die if light touches me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
