I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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