You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
