who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
