I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
