Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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