Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
