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Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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