i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
