Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
