just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
