were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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