"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i love accidental penises.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
