this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
