Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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