After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
